Tough love has really become en vogue in the last few years spawned on by the coaching movement. Tough love is considered love that’s “good for you.” Unfortunately, the popularity of tough love is justifying bullies. Many believe people are playing victims and when they do, they should not show them empathy or love, but call them out on their weakness to toughen them up.
I remember one time in a coaching session my coach said to me, “You are being a victim.”
To which I replied, “I am being authentic. I don’t appreciate you labeling me.”
When we label someone, we pigeon in who they are and don’t see the full person. They just become one word.
Do you identify with being referred to as only one word to describe you? Or are you fuller and more complex than a single word?
My coach then said, “You are being a baby.”
I said, “Do not call me a baby; do not label me. I do not label my clients and I appreciate you to show me the same courtesy.”
“Why?” she asked. “Wouldn’t you want to know?! I would want to know! I would want my coach to tell me if I was being a victim or a baby.”
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