Fears About Childbirth And What To Do
Fears About Childbirth And What To Do
Photo by Gwendal Cottin
First time moms tend to have a lot of fear about childbirth, as it is, and sometimes, doctors give advice to mothers that doesn’t feel right intuitively.
During my interviews for my book about holistic childbirth around the world, I asked Dawn Bates from the U.K. if she had any advice for first time mothers.
Advice from Dawn:
“If you have any fears, journal it out. Anything that a doctor tells you, look at what is the medical argument for this and then look at medical arguments from different countries. If your doctor in the U.S. is saying this is what needs to happen, make a phone call to a doctor in a different country. There are lots of free help lines. Phone someone in the U.K. Find someone in Switzerland, Sweden, Norway, Germany. Find out what doctors in other countries are saying. And then go back to your doctor and say, what you are saying is not necessarily true… If others are pressuring you, go on a long holiday. Focus on you and what is important to you.
You have the power; you are the vessel. You are the one who is giving everything to this baby. Everything you are breathing in, everything you are thinking, everything you are eating and drinking, everything within you is going into this baby. Become as informed as possible. Anyone who tells you not to do it your way, tell them to just go away.”
This is great advice, but so few women ever think to get a second opinion, nonetheless, from an OBGYN in a different country. So many women believe that their doctor is the expert and to listen to him or her even if it doesn’t feel right intuitively, even if, the advice makes them feel disempowered. Dawn is absolutely right; every mother is the sole one carrying her baby and providing for all of her baby’s needs, so she should be the one making the final decision. It is important to be well-informed and to do research which may be reading books, researching online, or consulting with other doctors. It is also very important to pursue an evidence based method of childbirth, instead of basing one’s decisions completely on emotions (fears) or statistics that may be outdated.
Childbirth is an experience which should empower every woman; she is bringing life into the world. What could be more powerful? But too many women are feeling pressured to make decisions before they are ready, before they have weighed the pros and the cons and come to an understanding. Of course, if it is a life and death situation in the hospital, one must take swift action and the focus is always on the safety of the mother and her baby, but if a mother is feeling pressured during the pregnancy not to have a home birth just because someone else has fears or to have a c-section instead of a vaginal birth as the doctor’s preference, this is disempowerment.
Share your thoughts below. Did you ever get talked out of making decisions that were important to you? Did you feel pressure from your spouse, doctor, a friend, or family member? Were your fears remedied by getting a second opinion? Did journaling help you to release your fears? Do you believe in an evidence based method of childbirth?
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